On Monday AAPL is To Host a Conference Call About What its going to do with its $100 billion cash pile. Like Entertainment Tonight, our on the scene reporters have the inside scoop. We have narrowed down tomorrows conference call to these 4 possibilities.
(1) AAPL intends to sign Peyton Manning? (Hey Why Not.. They've Clearly Got The Money)
(2) AAPL CEO Tim Cook Will Announce He Is Receiving an All Cash $100 Billion Bonus in 2012. (With Bankrupt Company CEO's Getting 10's of Million, the CEO of the Largest Company in the World should be hitting paydirt)
(3) AAPL is enacting a reverse dividend. All holders of AAPL stock must pay AAPL $.99 a share or forfeit their stock holdings. (Another..."Hey Why Not". You Don't Sock Away $100 billion By Giving It Away)
(4) AAPL Is going to buy every single retail company currently trading within the s&p 500. ( AAPL's market cap is significantly larger than the combination of every retail stock in the s&p500)
(5) AAPL is delisting its stock and starting its own stock market. It will be called the IExchange and won't trade share certificates but Apples and Oranges.
(6) AAPL has paid a few billion dollars to have the word "pad" removed from all feminine products through out the world. The maxi pad is no more...
(7) AAPL is announcing the new name for the IPAD3 - The MAXI PAD..... (it sounded better in my head... oh well)
AAPL is up only slightly over the last 10 years. You were better off buying a car, your kids some toys, or going on that over priced vacation than buying AAPL stock.